18. "heyyy man, take it easy"
slow downnnn bruther
Welcome to the Great Job Nat™ Sunday Newsletter! Every other Sunday’s will be free, If you want access to all the newsletters, an upcoming podcast, and a discount on a new WRITING CLASS I’m sooo excited to announce, consider leveling up here xoxo <3
How many tabs do you have open?
Right now, on your computer and/or on your phone. Count them. How many? Be honest. This is a litmus test for stress. I’ll know if you’re lying. I can tell by your eyes (which I can see through your screen — don’t you know I live in here?). Tell me.
5 tabs: Normal.
10 tabs: Pushing It.
15 tabs: Are You Really That Busy?
20+ tabs: SYSTEM OVERLOAD. BEEP BEEP BEEP.
I currently have… 53 tabs open.
I’m lying.
It’s more than that.
On a typical day, I’m more modest. 20-30. My tabs are my to-dos and daydreams and random curiosities, exploded open. News stories and job descriptions and Zillow listings and Wikipedia wormholes. Everything hydra-heading from the body of some singular thought that that was supposed to be a stand-up joke that turned into a script plot-point that unspooled into an FBI-complicated investigation of four different conspiracy theories that might all be connected to some cult that operates out of a camper in Joshua Tree?!
At least 5 of my tabs are open to my email inbox because I keep forgetting that I already have it open in another tab. I play my email like a lottery. What will I find if I open it again? A job offer, a scheduled pitch, some good news, an UBER EATS DISCOUNT?! Gimme them 7’s, baby! Mama needs a brand new bag.
Unfortunately, the tabs on my computer often correspond to the number of tabs I have open in my brain; always ever juggling a litany of half-baked thoughts. Soggy cookies, falling apart. I’m a writer but damn do I be losin’ the plot—why are all of these windows open?!
I’m in a place of Moving Too Fast™ again.
When I move too fast, I give myself too much to focus on and so I fold, focusing on nothing. And then I’m mad at myself for focusing on nothing because isn’t there so much to be done? There are so many current events to know, genius ideas to pursue, people to meet! To close a tab is to close an OPPORTUNITY—
I need to Slow Down™ again. How?
Let’s start with breakfast.
I love porn.
Sorry, food porn. I’ve said this before. We know this.
Regular porn? No. Spare me your genitals. Take me to the Italian countryside and show me an old nonna’s hands splitting open a ball of burrata. Mm! I’d bury my face in that cheesy cleavage.
My point is: of course I clicked on “Let This Breakfast Change Your Life,” the latest musing from foodie Eric Kim for The New York Times. Subtitle: “A simple miso-roasted salmon, part of a traditional Japanese spread, is both sustenance and self-care.”
Eric, you had me at Breakfast. Then slayed me with the promise of miso salmon.
The article is about chef Shota Nakajima who, in his extremely old age of 34, is learning to “slow down.” He takes his dog for hour and a half walks every day, doesn’t drink and… makes Japanese breakfast. The article is a deliciously peaceful exploration of that transition from one’s 20s to 30s, which I think about a lot as I’m right smack in that moon-phase of life. It’s a rough transition that I complain about plenty, mostly to my mom who will let me vent about anything. (“Why am I not as successful as Billie Eilish who’s 22?! Have I been wasting time?! Where did all the time go?!” etc. etc.)
Kim pinpoints the climax of that uncomfortable transition as your “Saturn Return.” If you’re not an astrological type, the Saturn return is “considered a time of great upheaval, ‘growing older, burning out at work, increasingly higher bills, a couple of monumental life milestones,’ as the astrologer Aliza Kelly has put it. According to NASA, it takes Saturn about 29.4 years to orbit the sun — or for it to return to the same spot in the sky as when you were born, signaling the end of a period of change.” Whether or not your head’s in the stars, turning 30 is a reckoning for anyone—it’s a time to keep tabs on how many tabs you have open, and maybe… start closing a few of them.
Slowing down. Perhaps taking the time to make a complicated breakfast.
The way that Kim describes it, the food becomes a ritual, a form of self care. A beautiful antithesis to the American way—that is, pouring an empty coffee into your sad and screaming gut and getting your ass to work. Kim says:
“One thing I’ve started to do that gets me a little closer to settling into this new beginning — my 30s — is eating Japanese breakfast. The eclectic spread, called ichiju-sansai (“one soup, three dishes”), is beyond just a savory meal that soothes both soul and stomach lining first thing in the morning. These restorative breakfasts, centered on a single bowl of rice, are meant to be balanced, a careful mix of carb, protein and vegetable: say, with a perfectly steamed pot of medium-grain rice, a sliver of melting fish run through with miso, a fistful of blanched spinach draped in ground sesame seeds, a quivering onsen egg oozing yolk and, when I have the forethought, a teacup of homemade miso soup. An array of pickles pulled from the refrigerator — cucumbers, plums, radishes and whatever is in my house kimchi jar at the time — completes the meal.”
I swear, I’m tempted to copy and paste the whole article here. It’s really a calming read. I’d love to curl up into a ball and nestle myself into a reality in which I can make myself little bowls of rice and fish while I stare out at my garden and the sound of water trickles from a sizeable cement fountain with one of those angel-babies spitting water. But of course, I won’t always have time.
But of course: Sometimes I will (without the baby spitting fountain and garden; but I can make the rice and fish). The last line of the article stuck with me the most.
“If the workload overwhelms you, remember that preparing Japanese breakfast is like cooking for future you, not present you. Plant a seed or two, water them if you like, but then live your life.”
That’s All Folks!
Short n’ sweet this week, beebs.
Moving the 5 Fave Things to Wednesdays and the Great Job Pod is coming in May. Slowly but surely ,figuring out this Substack schedule! Happy to have y’all here for the ride. Truly, I appreciate you so much.
I’m planning on doing a lot of fun new stuff on here in the coming month, so if you’re feelin’ it, share the Substack with a friend :) Building out the community means the world to me! Click any buttons below for easy sharing.
Aight, it’s midnight and my brain is toast.
love u say it back
xoxo
nat
You had ME at "slow down". And of course "spare me your genitals"