BONUS JONAS POST #1: HOW TO MAKE THE PERFECT BAGEL 🏆🥯🥯🥯🥯🏆

Finally, I can truly tell myself Great Job™. Or at least, Pretty Good Job™.

I MADE BAGELS. And you can, too. All you need to do is believe in yourself! And follow a lot of steps and punch a wad of dough for like 45 minutes and then wait for it to rise and then punch it again and then make it into rings and then wait 4-24 hours for it to rise again and then boil the dough rings and then bake them and then wait for the rings to cool and then put cream cheese on them and eat away, you filthy animal.

Here is a tutorial as to how to make a Great Job Bagel, according to Great Job Nat. I’m too lazy to write down all the measurements so it might not be helpful but it IS gonna be chaotic. If you REALLY want, just scroll to the bottom and click on the link to the recipe I used but how BORING would that be?! Anyway — onward, Great Johobians! To my useless but emotional How-To-Bagel.

FIRST: INGREDIENTS

• Bread flour

• Quick Active Yeast (It think that’s what it’s called? Something something active yeast. Those yeast be movin’)

• Barley Malt Syrup

  • Ever heard of it? Prob not. Get scared when you can’t find it at Whole Foods. Order it special from Amazon. Don’t give up and use molasses. It won’t be as good. xoxo

• Salt

• Ummm what else did I use… baking powder!

• WATER